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Since we can't all live out our dreams of driving in a demolition derby, here are eight safe ways to get the most use out of that old clunker taking up space in your garage. We have a feeling everyone's fantasized about number eight.
And of course, there's this...
1. Go On, You Know You Want To…
Admit it, you've always wanted to grab a baseball bat or golf club and go all Tiger Wood's Wife on a car. If you've got a scrap car on your hands, then don't hold back. It's time for a little bit of Smash Therapy. Just don't forget to yell, "This is what happens Larry!" as you do.
2. Exactly One Horsepower
If you drive in Pennsylvania, or anywhere in the Northeast really, then chances are you've had to pass an Amish buggy out on the road. Just because your engine died, that doesn't mean you can't have a little horsepower in front of the hood.
Source: Flickr user littledragonblue
3. Best. Fort. Ever.
A broken down car on cinderblocks in your front yard is bound to attract some angry side eye from your neighbors. But a super-awesome-car-fort in your backyard will delight kids everywhere. Just look at these creative repurposed car forts…
Source: Tiny House Talk
4. Redneck Drifting
Driving donuts in an empty field or parking lot is a great way to blow off steam, or just ruin your tires. But if you've got a junk car on its last legs and access to a field or empty parking lot, then go ahead and go donuts.
Just remember: this video was taken by a trained
professional redneck drifter on a closed course closed backyard. Drift at your own risk.
5. And While You're Out There…
Since you're out in the country doing donuts in the field, why not use your old junk car for some good ol' fashioned target practice? Oh, right, because this is a list of eight SAFE ways to have fun with a car, not a list of the best ways to accidentally start a fire and hurt your friends. Instead, just live vicariously through these American heroes...
6. Paint a Masterpiece
Cadillac Ranch outside Amarillo, Texas, is a public art installation made entirely of junk cars stuck nose first in the desert ground. These old Cadillacs are also the most painted cars in the world, and tourists come from all over to spray paint their names onto the old clunkers. While you're waiting to get rid of a junk car, break out the paint cans and have some fun.
Just make sure you have the right car, unlike this unfortunate driver…
7. The Best Halloween Decoration In Town…
Source: Always the Holidays
Chances are you've seen the classically tacky fake hand dangling out the trunk of someone's car around Halloween. But a junk car can make the perfect improvised Halloween display come October 31. Unfortunately, some Halloween enthusiasts take the gruesome possibilities a little too far. Don't be this guy...
8. Parking Fail, Meet Parking Revenge
Now, to be perfectly clear, we do NOT recommend using an old junk car to take revenge on the horrible parking neighbor who lives down the street, or any of the terrible parkers of the world. We definitely do NOT suggest towing your junk car, and do NOT advise you to leave it wedged right next to a double parking moron. No, that wouldn't not be funny at all…
Do you have any other ways to put a junk car to use?